Rain On Whyte *not alone*

This post has to do with something that I can't get enough of. Yesterday ( June 23:Wednesday) I decided to go to Edmontons famous "Whyte Ave" I didn't want to go for shopping or picking up ladies, I wanted to go for some alone time, some Jordan and Jesus time (he and I go way back to '88) I took the train, listened to my iPod the whole way. I'm hooked on a new song by the good old Backstreet Boys....thats right...BSB. Their song is called "Weird World" I like the song not just for the message, but just the music in it, its comforting to me and I enjoy getting lost in the piano tones of that song. Now I went and did my thing in Chapters as I drank my coffee, on my way out I had such a great time. Pieces of a Blue Sky were patched up there mixed with a soft orange blend on the bottom. On the top these black clouds were pressed into the sky like a background as others hung very very low. There was something in the air that night, the smell of the rain, the smell of whyte ave, the smell of this one girls perfume. I felt so alive as I walked to the University, I felt like something I had been missing so long was coming out of me, like an old best friend came back to visit me. God and I had a great time, I talked with him as I felt his presence in the wind, haha, I'm walking down whyte, under this mysteriously beautiful sky, crying, crying because God paid me an overdue visit, he came to say hello and keep me company on my way home, so I walk and shed tears. I'm not really sure what I'm getting at here, this post might be my most irrelevant to date, but I felt God last night, in the sky, in the smells of the air, in the backstreet boy song (yup) I felt him and his presence hovering over my heart, ridding it of its stockpile of sins and regrets. I honestly never expected him to visit me, but nonetheless I'm glad he did. On my bus ride home I noticed this (what I thought) was a very young girl about 14 years of age on a trip. She was doing some type of drug or many types but the instant I looked at her face, I felt such an impression on my heart to pray for her, and to pray hard. And I did just that, I knew I was done when I felt better, more then better. God makes a point of reviewing our hearts passions every now and then, to see where our faith is, to have us see where our faith is. It would be awesome to do good works by faith everyday all day without screwing up and/or giving up. But the truth is, everyday needs to be taken hold of, and brought before God. I'm ready to give God his days, it'll be a slow start, but its a two way commitment, and I know he's all in. There will always be something in the Rain for me, I suggest to all of you, if there is a storm nearby, a beautiful storm, go outside and talk to God....please.

Room For Squares ?

So I have a story that I personally think is pretty cool. When I was a kid I was kind of geeky, not a nerd because nerds are smart but geeky is where I fit it in. Although the friends I had were not geeky (except for one..later on). We all played sports like young boys should, we all swore when we felt is was (un)necessary, we fought or should I say I got into a lot of fights, mainly with my best friend at the time, every year of elementary since kindergarten we would have an all out brawl, we were always friends after but still, I'm not sure to why this happened so much. I was the best dancer in my class, I had all the moves, I took them mainly from the New Kids On The Block, MJ, Mc Hammer, Vanilla Ice, you know, the guys with the talent. But basically I was the geeky kid in the class, I wasn't that smart, I always struggled in school, I was a great reader, but when it came to math and crap like that..I just couldn't deal with it. During this time my spiritual life was well..."there" I always knew there was God and Jesus since I was like 5 years old, we went to church which was boring just like any other kid would think, I went to camp only for one week out of the entire year, and boy would that do me some good and bad, it would take me at least two weeks to get over the fact that camp has ended and that I won't be back until next year, it hurt everytime. Entering jr.High was a scary time for me, most of my friends went to different schools and we all lost contact very quickly, and yet most of us lived within less then a 1 mile radius of each other. I began to hangout with the only friends I did have which were two people from my elementary, they started to head down the wrong path and I followed, never doing anything super wrong but for the most part I could feel something was amiss.

This part is cool cuz this is where God steps in when I was stepping out and away. In Gr.8 I lost my boys from my previous years of school, I lost them to drugs and other wrong crap. So one day on this field trip I met this guy named Mike, who then knew this guy named Jon, and both knew this little turd named Tiberio. At the time I didn't like Tiberio, he didn't like me, I talked a lot with Mike as the weeks went buy and we hit it off, eventually all 3 of us became really good friends. Us 3 guys were very weird together, we made up our own words, talked strangely, constantly punched each other in the arm, we became somewhat popualr, cuz now the geeks had a crew, and we got recognition for that, soon all the other "cool" peeps would talk to us and chill with us once in a while..it was good. One day something hit me, and I realized that God gave me these friends, to get me out of the dark path I was being led down, with these weird, geeky retards God saved me, he sent me those guys. Now the best part about it is this, those guys needed a leader, they needed someone to follow, someone who was not an idol type, but someone who was just like them, someone they could talk to and admire and relate with. I was that person, the geeky kid that followed everyone else, later became the leader. We're all still friends, all through high school, we still hangout on occasion, except for one of us.

God knew my heart and he knew my potential, I can say that, that was the first time I actually noticed God doing something in my life, something empowering and uplifting and maturing for me. Recently a girl noticed a picture of mine on the net and she couldn't believe it was me, how good looking I got was her main surprise, but still I'll take it anyway, she was blown away. Also last year I ran into a guy I haven't seen since gr.6, he's all slow in the head from the Mary Jane he's been smoking since gr.7. It goes to show that God does have a plan for the unoticed ones, the geeky ones, the forgotten, the horribly shy ones. I look at this story and it reminds of other stories like how the tortise beat the hare, or how the Jedi Returned...eventually. I'm proud to be a Christian, to be used in ways other people will never have the chance to because they themselves do not see their own potential nor will God touch that potential without surrender to him. Room for Squares as a title fits nicely for many of my own reasons, I was a square and God made sure that there was more then enough room for me.

Visions...I Think?

So last year sometime I came home after church ( I think) and I sat on my bed, and just...sat there, then I switched from sitting to laying. The lights were on, my eyes were open, my room was messy and ugly as usual. As I layed there I started to think about Summer Camp (Teen Time Camp Of Edmonton) I thought about last summer and even though I was only out there for two weeks, they were the most amazing two weeks of my summer that year. I've always felt that I need to surprise somebody, I need to impact somebody or a group of people, I've always thought that one day when everybody least expects it I'm going to do something that will amaze and astound people, that would change everybody's opinion of me, something that would cause the box around me to dissolve in the heat and energy that I would explode in. *(back to my story)* So as I lay on my bed I started to see something, something very familiar but a little different. In my head I saw the outdoor amphatheatre (the O-Dat) and I saw everybody having WOG (Word Of God) Now during WOG we begin with singing songs, and that usually involves somebody playing guitar while a few other camp leaders come up to lead songs (do actions, sing harmonies) and in this " window " in my head I saw myself playing the guitar and singing along with the rest of the camp. Now I can tell you that at this moment I couldn't believe how happy I was, how good I felt, and how happy I was in this, sort of.."vision". The next vision came when right after the last one, and it was me again except this time we were all on the beach having a campfire, and instead of singing songs, it was time for the "spiritual director" to come up and speak a bit about Jesus. The best part of this vision was that the spiritual director that came up to speak was ME. And again, I was just being blown away at the simple fact that I was seeing me doing what I've seen lots of other older male and females do ever since I was a wee lad. After taking both of these things in I sat up on my bed, wrote about it, and asked Jesus if what I saw was true and if it could be real. He never really gave me a straight answer, but what I got out of it was..."it can be reality if you try" thats the answer I felt inside me. Now about a year later I can tell you that I have not tried, I have not learned any of the camp songs, nor have I prepared any wicked/amazing messages that I could speak about at camp. I didn't try, at all I'd say...but surprisingly enough I don't feel discouraged nor do I feel like there is no point left in trying. Just thinking back to those visions stirs my heart up even more so then it did before, its like God has given me seeds to plant, and I've planted them I just keep forgetting to water them and thats because I'm forgetful and lazy and not motivated. But I'm convinced that the Lord knows my passions for his Word, he's attached strings to those passions so that even when I forget about what I'm doing or where I'm going he gives those strings a good yankin to let me know that I need to squint to focus in on whatever it is he's wanting me to do. Those visions are what I'm gonna amaze people with, now I know that this is God's work, its his ministry and is truly not about me, but really I see it as a 2 in 1 bonus, spreading the word to the kids, and having me do it.

The End.

What The Morning May Bring.... (The afTer-gRad)

"It's party time!" yelled some guy I don't know. Here at my friends house we all sit in her big backyard around a fire at our feet, cooking hot dogs, having a decently great time. I know most of the people here cuz I am involved with these people during mainly the summer time. They are my friends and I love them dearly. Soon the booze started to roll out and people from my friends school started showing up, bringing whatever type of alcohol they enjoyed. It's 2am and I'm having a great discussion with my friend about the summer camp we're involved with and certain issues that are circulating around it. It was a heated discussion, a very passionate one..for me especialy. I love working out at that camp, I love working with kids, and telling kids about Jesus and what he's done. Trying to get their minds wrapped around something so mysteriously big brings excitement and joy to my heart. We ended up ending our conversation on good terms ( I got through to him) so I was happy about that, as time went on I saw more and more people getting drunk, my friends getting drunk, some smoking the Greenage, others just enjoying a nice night (cuz seriously it was a nice night) I'll be honest about something...I wanted to drink, not to get drunk (NEVER) but just to have a beer and enjoy it with my boys. But I fought the temptation, cuz I realized that most of these people I work with look up to me, spiritually, they know and see how strong I am in Christ, how passionate I am, if I start doing crap that might hinder that then I am doing them nor myself no good. I do have an alcoholic beverage once in a while, very rarely, but only with people that understand and that won't judge me based on what I believe and how I live my belief. So after firmly telling myself NO I became very happy inside, I started seeing that these people needed help, they were not feeling good. So at about 4am my friend Nicole was sitting in a chair and she looked sad, and tired, and my heart jumped inside me and I picked her up and I pushed her around her backyard, I forced her to "walk it off" and rather then have myself sit there, being all quiet and boring I became this extrovert, one that I liked, and just by investing some time, I had her smiling and feeling better, I then decided that the place was to messy so I cleaned it up, I swept and swept and made the place look much better along with the help of my friends (that weren't so drunk..anymore) I also cleaned up my friends puke, after watching him throw it up. I will say that watching him puke was highly entertaining for me, I had a good laugh. I sprayed it down, and made it look all nice again. at about 5am I put on my latest cd of Mat Kearney, and I will tell you, that Cd is brilliant, it really mellowed the atmosphere, I sat in my chair after doing all this work and I just felt so peaceful inside, so happy about what I was doing and who I was helping, happy about what image I was giving off to my friends. I haven't felt this way in a long time, or ever and it was so great to sit down infront of a fire and listen to Mat Kearney, I couldn't believe how amazing his music is, people were asking me who this guy was and where they could get his cd, that made me feel great. So as weird as the night was, I had an excellent morning with my friends and Mat Kearney thanks to Jesus.

Brown Dude Can't dAnCe

I'm invited to my friends Grad. Lots of people, food tasted great. The tables are cleared and moved and the dance floor opens up. The Beat starts and I am dragged out of my chair to a mass of people moving oddly to music that I'm not a fan of. This is where I begin to think, "why did I come?" "Why must I get suckerd into these things?" The truth is (other then from me being brown) is that I can not dance. I'm so trapped inside my box that I can not come out enough to even move my hips. Now, there are some ways to make me move...somewhat. First Off I find it easier to move to Rap music, although I'm not a huge fan of rap, I enjoy it mostly when i'm at a dance or something of that sort, its way more easier to "lean back" or "Rock Away" then it is to "Jive" or "Boogie" at least I find it is. But I'll tell you this, way back in the days of Old SKoOl I used to have all the moves, from the best there was. MCHammer, New Kids On The Block, and Michael Jackson...(duh) that was back in elementary, I was the class geek, but when I hit the dance floor I Owned and everybody knew it. But for some reason as time went on I locked up somwhere, I took off my dancin' shoes and lost them somewhere, this is sad. The one good part is, is that I had 3 other males which were my friends, help me at least to venture out of my box for even just a bit, these guys are nutZ, they will just move, like idiots, except it works, and people were annoyed but laughing and ended up copying their moves, this has helped me in some sense, you know, having a dance possy back you up. I guess I should learn to dance better, cuz someday, down the road, I will have to pull out to craziest set of dance moves the world will never see, and as God as my witness, the world Will Be Amazed.

Interception ?

I am naming this post " interception?" because I feel as though my heart has been intercepted by the words from a story about a God searching man. I just finished this book called " Blue Like Jazz" and I don't think I've ever been as blown away by a book as I am right now. It all makes sense to me, in parts of that book its as if this guy was reading about me, about what I have inside of me. Its crazy...I'm not sure what else to say but that You (whoever you are) must find this book and read it, it will help you. And Mad Props to Donut for lending it to me.




Well now that I've said that I don't really think I have much to say. Umm...YC was this past weekend and I will say it was really good GRITZ was flippin unreal and for that I would like to thank God for making black people...yes I am extremely thankful for that. I did a lot of thinking while at YC, I was doing this because my job was to babysit a camera man...a good man...but one with a boring job. I thought about the things on my heart, not whatever is floating around in my head, but the things that really matter, like any issues I have with people, the burden that work puts down on me, my spraned foot, and girls. I think I am getting to into myself, to into walking around by myself, I enjoy it but I feel its time to really challenge myself, to step out of my box a bit more and smile at someone when they were not expecting one from me. I am excited about trying this out, daring myself to be better then what I am right now, its fun, and I think Jesus fully supports me on this, infact he's the dude backing me up on this. I know I'm noticed, although I'm quiet and shy and mostly always have been I've always wanted to be noticed, we all have that want to be a rockstar, or at least to maybe once in a while attain that type of attention...I don't think there is anything wrong with it...I believe there is something in all humans that want to entertain the world with something unique and highly original, something only God has put in them, something that you will never see twice...we want to jump off our asses and let it out in one massive PiRo TeChNik LiGHt ShOw, but a lot of us won't be able to do that, because we firmly believe we can't, we were told that "it won't put dinner on the table" Now I know most parents have said that one time or another but I'm thinkin that we should stop listening to that, how are we truly supposed to know that we are even worthy of something AMAZING when we won't dare ourselves to do something cool ? Drastic action needs to take place, a new mindset needs to be grasped. I am convinced that as long as you love Jesus purely and simply with passion and that you believe that Jesus loves you the same way but a KaGillion times more then you will do UNBELIEVEABLE things. Now it may not be a "Crazy Light Show" infront of thousands of people...but it might be to the one person to whom God lead you to....